A New Beginning.

I haven't blogged in awhile. This could be a long one, so I'm just gonna jump right into it.

I can't sleep tonight. I've got a lot on my mind, but, surprisingly, it's good things. I think I'm going to take this blog in a new direction. I'll (try) to update with what my family and I are doing, but really, we are pretty boring. Honestly, I'm not sure where I'll take this blog or where it will take me, but we're both willing participants. Okay, so much for just jumping right in. I'm going to start out with my testimony.

I gave my life to Jesus on October 18,2009. I was shocked! Let me back up and give a little background info. I was born in Hot Springs, AR. I've pretty much been in church (on and off) all of my life. We started out Presbyterian, then switched to Baptist, when I was around 6 or 7. At the age of 8, during vacation Bible school, I repeated a prayer that our preacher said and got saved. I was baptized the following Sunday. Now, at the age of 8, I really didn't know what I was doing. I knew it was the right thing to do but had no understanding of what being saved really was.

When I was 11, we moved to Alabama. Hated it but that's another story and lifetime ago. My parents found us a warm and loving church here. I was about 12 or 13 and like most Sundays, the preacher asked "if you were to die today, do you know where you would go?". I panicked. I didn't want to go to hell. At this point, I realized that I didn't understand much at 8 and that I need to go up and get saved. So I went, I got baptized again.

Skip ahead 14 years or so, and we have October 2009. I'm at the same church, although I'd been to a couple different ones between then and now. (You always find your way back home.) The preacher who baptized me for the second time is back as our temporary preacher, until we call a new one. He is preaching a series on what every Christian should know. One thing every Christian should know is if he or she is TRULY saved. That sermon knocked the wind out of me like no other. I was shocked! That still, small voice they talk about was moving and thunderous. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I was shaking, sweating and tears were filling my eyes. When the invitation was given, I didn't really know what to do. I'd been baptized twice, surely it stuck one of those times. I went to go down the alter but another family had gone up to join the church. This, unfortunately, gave me the opportunity to change my mind about going up and gave my pride a chance to sink in.

I fought this for two weeks. It never left my mind and it felt like I had a knot the size of Texas in my stomach. I tried to justify my salvation and convince myself that I was indeed saved. I even went up to rededicate my life. I thought that would give me peace... it didn't. That night, I was lying in bed and it felt like a boulder fell on me. I knew that I was lost. I'd never truly given my life to the Lord. I went up, again, the next Sunday and I gave it all to Him. I was also baptized for a third time. :) Y'all, I couldn't ignore him any longer and I am so thankful he didn't give up on me! He WILL get your attention. He got mine!

My wish and HOPE is that everyone I know can feel the joy, love and peace that I feel. I've always believed in Jesus, that he is our Savior and that he loved us, but there is a big difference in believing with your head and with your heart. For whatever reason, that connection was broken, until recently. Now, my eyes have been opened to His love and to so many amazing things and I haven't even scratched the surface, which is truly exciting!

Does this mean that I don't have bad days? Of course not! I had one today but knowing that the Lord is right there with me and that He truly cares for me and loves me, makes things not seem so bad. I recover much easier. Does this mean I don't sin? Definitely not! I'm still going to sin and on a daily, if not hourly, basis. But, I should keep a short account of my sins. I'm learning, and I'll share more about this on a later post, that when we are saved, we have two natures. One being our old nature and the new being Jesus. It is an everyday decision to let Jesus lead you and not your old nature. It's a constant battle but I'm sure I'll write more about that later (this is getting super long). God's love, grace and mercy is so amazing. I'm not sure we will fully understand just how amazing until he comes back for us (which I believe is very soon)!

I hope that whoever reads this continues to read this and follows my journey. We all need love and support. If you aren't saved or aren't sure, I hope you will search your heart and consider all that Jesus sacrificed for us. It's a precious gift and the best that you could ever receive. And what better time, then when our Savior was born.

Romans 5:8-9 (New International Version)

8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him!